Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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