I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Found your dick twin last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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