do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i drank out of a bidet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
