love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
