i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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