Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
