saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
