i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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