Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
