it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
