don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
