You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
