I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I touched a dick in church today
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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