you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
