if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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