The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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