There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize