Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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