i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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