SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
