so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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