We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
