I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
