who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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