y did u give ur computer a hand job?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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