you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
