we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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