everyone is single if you try hard enough
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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