I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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