What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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