oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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