You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
