just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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