I wish you could order shots online.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I supernannyed him into submission
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
