# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
