I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
