the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize