I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
