I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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