we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
