Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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