I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
