my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
