got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize