I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
