I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Girls should come with a carfax report
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
