I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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