Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
