So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
