Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You took a bar mat shot.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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