I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
