So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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