someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize