do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My feet surprised me
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