I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
