matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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