im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
