just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize