dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Are we still banned from the library?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
