Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
