Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
