Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
