goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he thought i was a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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