Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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