I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
