I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just want nice things and good sex
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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