At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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