please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
